I don’t want to be accused of blowing my own trumpet, but someone’s got to write the report! © John Werbinski 2006.

Saturday 11th March at 12.45 the location Isleworth over ground station car park is apparently were St Johns found their mojo again!

Wise words from the special one into the shell-like of our moaning Yorkshire full-back Matty Ellis, along the lines of you ain’t got no left foot and your right foot isn’t much better either, was the catalyst for this long awaited victory and including a MOM performance from a stung into action Matt Ellis. Aks is now available for all types of marriage guidance, grief counselling, motivational speaking etc, etc.

A bumper squad, and fear of the opposing centre forward had the tinkerman announcing a 5-3-2 formation, springing a surprise on the 3 midfielders who had expected a more defensive 5 across the middle.

Confusion in the ISS ranks as to who should be picking up who, lead to St Johns’s attacking from both flanks, with both Tony Gear and Ellis in rampaging mood, Huggins and Hegarty looking lively and the midfield trio also looking to get in on the attacking frenzy!

First to warm the keepers hands was Werbinski © for St Johns who hammered a first time loose ball from the edge of the area which the keeper could only parry. Not to be outdone Haynes for St Johns also brought his shooting boots and again had the keeper pulling off a great double save as Hegarty for the St’s pounced on the rebound from a tight angle.

ISS one mode of dealing with this onslaught was to pump a long ball over the top for their centre forward to chase, the line held firm and on the few occasions he beat the St John’s back line for speed Scott Barton for the St’s swelled (sic) himself big and pulled off some great stops. The danger was always there and just before the half the centre forward got goalside of Nie and burst into the box, Nie went into the challenge and looked to get the ball but to all and sundry it looked a stonewall penalty. After around 5 minutes of confusion and explaining her decision the ref awarded a penalty. Look love it looked like a pen so just give it! So harshly, St Johns went in 1-0 down after dominating 95% of the half.

Character was needed in the second half, and did St Johns show it, flying into tackles, passing the ball with conviction and demanding the ball. It wasn’t long before a chance came along.

Haynes received the ball up on the edge of the box, looking for movement before him reacted to the run and point from Werbinski, and played the ball onto the sixpence, Werbinski stumbled into his stride and spooned the ball with his left shin and the ball bobbled unerringly into the far corner.

St John’s could smell the points and Huggins breaking free gave the referee the ideal opportunity to level the penalty count but she bottled it when it came to it, being 50 yards away at the time probably didn’t help matters.

St Johns continued to defend well albeit with a smattering of luck and the rare few times the ISS centre forward got away from the back line, it happened to fall on his weaker left foot and Barton could snuff out the threat.

As time was ticking away St John’s finally won a free kick in a dangerous position, up stepped Mark ‘Platini’ Blackburn, forcing the keeper to parry his goal bound effort to Hegarty who forced yet another double save, the ball fell kindly to Werbinski who reacted the quickest to seal the points for St John’s and prompted manager Aks into yet another embarrassing David Pleat moment with an unnecessary pitch invasion. Mercifully the ref was at last decisive and ordered the St Johns manager to the dug out for Stuart Pearce like behaviour in and around the technical area.

Match report by: John ‘Mr Hubris’ Werbinski ©