With thoughts of a taxpayer funded jolly to Spain the Uni boys turned up in force with an unsightly amount of milky white skin on show. Playing 2nd from bottom Hounslow Wanderers in the league got the rest of the team in early holiday mood.

The first 15 minutes of this match witnessed some of the worst football played this season by St Johns! Even the most reliable players found the ball hard to control and even more difficult to hit, air shots 6 - St Johns 0.

Finally two passes got strung together and a rare sight for those who witnessed it, Brendan Hegarty shooting and scoring with his right foot. St Johns could have ended this game in five minute spell with Huggins of St John’s guilty of missing two glorious one-on-one’s.

Hounslow Wanderers to give them some credit continued to have a go and were rewarded when a defensive mix-up left the forward with a clear sight of goal and from eight yards out made no mistake. Hounslow quickly doubled their lead and had obviously been watching too much Soccer AM and proceeded to do the worst goal celebration ever seen on the hallowed pastures of Argyle Rd.

The stuffing seemed to have been knocked out of St Johns fight and it was only goalkeeper Scottie Barton making a couple of great saves that kept St John’s in the game come the half time whistle.

Tinkerman Odusanya wasn’t happy and announced a 4-3-3 formation much to the bewilderment of everyone present. It was looking as if Johan Haynes would not be able to carry on in the second after receiving burn like marks on his back from carrying Mark Midmore. If it carried on in the second half the poor lad would be scarred for life!

Going down the slope, and with a brisk wind at their backs St Johns actually started to play some football and even Mark Midmore was able to control the ball and pass it after a first to forget. At last it looked like St John’s had eleven players on the pitch and not just ten and a half with Mark Midmore.

With their three pronged attack and both St John’s full backs defying orders to sit back, they pushed Hounslow onto the back foot. It took the Mancunian Hammer Nie Jones to bring the St’s back into the game from a well delivered corner. Ducking low to nod possibly the slowest headed goal ever seen. Clocked at 4.5 seconds, from the six yard line to crossing the goal line. Some St John’s scholars can testify that they have seen Dave Michael turn quicker.

A tiring Huggins who atoned for his earlier misses by working himself ragged was replaced by the non stop dynamo that is Ralphie. This boy didn’t take long to make his mark poking the ball home from a yard after Tony Gear had wriggled his way into the box with a jinking solo run & shot.

Hegarty for the St’s sealed the points with a disputable second that didn’t seem to cross the line after barely rounding the keeper and sending a daisy cutter against the foot of the post from 20 yards.

Cometh the 86th minute cometh the man! The introduction of Mikey Holmes. Rumour is he almost got a kick this week after he was seen lurking on the edge of the Hounslow box swiping at a passing ball! Manager Aks was happy enough with what he saw to maybe give the lad several whole minutes next week if his fitness is up to it.

Match Report by Marajohna aka John Werbinski.